Jingled Bells and Slay Rides
by spike-me-1
Summary: Santa's a demon and after the Summers children. Can mom and dad stop him in time?
1. Default Chapter

The room was aglow with the twinkling of colored lights.  Christmas music played softy in the background as the walls danced with the flashes of primary colors.  A young woman sat on the floor, legs crossed, trapped in a barricade of wrapping paper and presents.  She was concentrating fully on the task at hand, taping paper covered in sparkles on a Malibu Barbie.  

            A devastatingly handsome man kneeled on the floor nearest to the tree.  The lights reflected off of his blonde hair as he carefully put down the instructions and picked up his screwdriver.  Ever so slowly, he began to twist the small screw clockwise when it fell quickly to the ground.

            "Bloody hell!  I hate Christmas!" he declared.

            "Shh," she snapped.  "They finally fell asleep.  What's the matter?  Instructions too hard, honey?"

            "Don't patronize me, Woman.  I'm nearly two hundred years old, I think I can read instructions thank you.  Only, it's like they're written in Chinese, and I don't speak Chinese."

            She stood up slowly and walked over to her husband.  Grabbing the directions from his hand, she smiled and flipped the page over.  "It's Japanese, but there's English on the other side, Genius," she laughed.  He quickly captured the beauty and pulled her down on his lap as he began to tickle her mercilessly.  "Stop!  You win!" she yelled as he quickly shushed her.  

            "Quiet now, Love," he whispered seductively, "the nibblits are sleeping."  They stared hungrily into each others eyes before their lips met in a heated kiss.

            A throat cleared from the hallway.  "Can't you two ever keep off each other?  It's sickening," the tall brunette said as she entered the room and sat in the middle of the presents.  

            "Sorry, Dawn," she said as she left her lover's lap and returned to her spot amidst the mountains of unwrapped gifts.  "Seems that the bicycle over there was getting the best of the Big Bad."

            "Oi, Love.  That hurts ya know," he added before grabbing his screwdriver once more.  

            She winked at her sister.  "Something tells me you and I are going to end up putting it together, Dawnie.  Just like the Barbie Corvette last year, and the Hot Wheels Racing set the year before…"

            "I think I got the point, Buffy.  No need to be mean," he pouted.  The two women smiled at each other.   "This is ridiculous.  Place part C above part Q then tighten with screw H.  There is no sodding part Q and I think I already used screw H.  Whoever wrote this was a complete fad, I'd wager."

            Buffy rolled her eyes.  "Fine ya big ninny.  You come wrap the presents and I'll put the bike together."

            They both stood to switch places.  "And why couldn't we have bought the pre-assembled bicycle as I suggested," he asked, eyebrow raised.

            "Because it's just too damn funny watching you try to figure these things out," she winked.  He pinched her on the bottom before taking his place beside his sister-in-law.  

            Buffy had the bike done in five minutes flat, effectively bruising Spike's ego, and sat between her family.  An hour and a few cups of eggnog later, all of the presents where arranged under the tree and the three Summers sat on the couch, memorized by the lights.

            "I think this should be a good Christmas," Dawn said to the two.  "I hope William likes what I got him."  

            "He'll love it sweetie.  He's been asking for that since his birthday," Buffy smiled.  Spike shifted the arm he had around his wife slightly, and she laid her head on his chest.  

            "What exactly does it do anyway?" he asked.

            "It's a Scooby Doo tent that fits on top of his bed," Dawn explained.

            "But he already has a tent," he stated.

            "Correction, HAD.  Remember when you tripped on one of his cars and landed on it?" Buffy added.

            "Well, if he'd clean his damn room like we tell him to.  They both have too many toys as it is.  It's an embarrassment.  We should be shareholders in Toys R Us with as much money we spend there.  Honestly, when I was a child, all I got for Christmas was a few nuts and fruits in a sock, and sometimes, if it had been a good year for my father, I'd get a book.  That was rare though."

            Buffy smiled sadly at him.  "Aw, honey.  That's so sad.  Did you walk eight miles to school in the snow barefoot too?"

"Well, not barefoot…" he began.

Buffy rolled her eyes.  "Dawnie and I had great Christmas presents.  Remember the year we got the My Little Pony dream castle?"

            "That was so cool.  I remember dad had to sell his golf clubs to get it, but he was so happy when he saw the look on our faces."

            "I wish we'd have kept that.  Joyce would have so much fun with it," Buffy thought.  The unexpected ring of the phone made them all jump out of their skin.  Buffy padded across the floor in her snowflake pajamas and matching slippers to answer it.

            "Hello?  Hey, Giles, we were just…. What?  Where?  You're kidding right?" Spike crossed the room and placed a hand on her shoulder.  He mouthed, "What is it?" but she waved her hand to dismiss him.  "Okay, call Xander and Anya and have them meet us at your place.  Tell them they can bring Nicky over here and Dawn will stay with the kids.  Fill Willow and Tara in, but tell them we can handle it.  I don't think they'll be able to bring Amelia over without her waking up.  Plus it's so cold out and she's still so tiny.  Spike and I will change and be there in a few."  She hung up the phone and approached her sister.  "Is that okay with you, Dawn?  They'll all be sleeping, so you really have nothing to worry about."

            "No problem at all, Buffy, but what's going on?"

            "Remember how Anya said Santa was a demon?  Guess she was right."

TBC


	2. chapter 2

The couples sat about Gile's new apartment as he filled them in.  "It appears that Santa Claus has decided to reek havoc on Sunnydale this year.  I had stopped by the grocery store to pick up more cranberries for our meal tomorrow, when I heard a rather odd noise coming from the alleyway.  When I went to inspect it, I saw him.  All dressed up in the red suit as you would expect and even wearing a hat.  He was hunched over two small bodies that seemed to be mutilated just as the ones we've been finding recently.  His face was ghastly when he turned to me, eyes all white as though he were possessed.  The bodies that have been materializing as of late must have been connected to him."

            "Ho, ho ,ho," Xander added blandly.                                                         

            "See, no one believes me.  Did I not tell you he was a demon?" Anya demanded.

            "So what do we do?  We have no clue where to find him, and even if we did, how do we kill him?" Buffy questioned.

            "Children." Anya began.  "He eats children."

            "Oh, one of those kind is he?" Spike questioned.  "You know, I always shrugged this particular myth off and now I know why.  Disturbing isn't it?"

            "Wait a minute Anya, you mean it eats kids?" Buffy asked.

            "That would explain the dead children that have been appearing throughout town," Giles added.

            "He tortures them too," she stated.  

"Santa Claus is a baby eater.  Who would of thought?" Xander asked.

"I'm so happy!" Anya smiled.  All heads turned to her.  "What?  Not about the evil Santa, but the fact that I finally knew something you didn't!  You all always get to figure things out first or kill the bad guy why I get stuck standing in the background looking pretty."

            Buffy shook her head in disbelief, "So where do you think he'll go?  Why is he here?"

            "Probably got the munchies," Xander said.

            "But why Sunnydale?  He knows I'm here.  The whole demon world knows that Dawn and I are slayers and that we protect the Hellmouth.  Everyone knows Spike's switched sides and that the gang is always on alert.  Why mess with us?"

            "Maybe he's been out of the loop, Pet.  He seems somewhat reclusive." Her husband offered.

            "Or maybe he knows you're here and that you have children of your own.  Nothing tastier than slayer/vampire kids I bet," said Anya.  All eyes in the room widened.

            "The kids!"  Buffy yelled.

            "Nicky's over there too!  Let's go!" Xander barked as they all jumped to their feet and raced for the coat rack.  

            "I figured something out again didn't I?" Anya beamed.  With that, the Scoobies piled into Buffy and Spike's old jeep and sped off to Revello Drive.

            Less than five minutes later Buffy burst through the door.  "Dawn!" she yelled.  "Dawn, you here?"

            "Shh," the girl whispered from the couch.   "I just got Joyce back to sleep.  She said she was hearing things on the roof.  I told her it was probably reindeer."

            "God Lord Almighty I hope not!" Xander exclaimed.  Spike was already racing up the stairs to check on the children as Buffy looked out the window.  

            "Giles, call Willow again.  Have her come over as soon as she can," she said wide-eyed.

            "Whatever for, Buffy?" the older man asked.

            "Because I think we may need backup," she stated as she drew the curtain back.  Small human shaped creatures were marching up her sidewalk, all gray and wrinkled with glowing yellow eyes.  "Looks like Santa's elves have decided to make a little visit." 

TBC


	3. chapter 3

            "Ugh!" Dawn said in disgust, "How creepy is that?"

The small creatures stood no more than two feet tall, though their arms were nearly touching the ground.  They had pointy ears and long claws that gleamed in the Christmas moonlight.  They grunted as they approached the door.  The door shook from their hard pounding as Buffy and the others tried their best to block the door with furniture.  The banging continued for a few minutes before ceasing completely.  

            "Spike!" Buffy yelled.  No answer.  The gang stood as still as they could, breathing as quietly as possible, and listened for the slightest sound.  Then up on the roof there arose such a clatter, they sprang up the stairs to see what was the matter.  Away out the window they flew like a flash.  They tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. When, what to their wondering eyes should appear, but Santa in his sleigh, and Spike… beating on what looked like reindeer.

            The horned demons where were charging at the bleached blonde as he fought courageously against all eight of them.  Buffy joined her husband's side as she yelled back to the others.  "Dawn!  You and Xander get back downstairs and take care of those elves!  Giles and Anya stay with the children!"  The gang departed and did as they were told.  Giles sat beside the small girl on her bed and mumbled a small chant, successfully placing her in a deep sleep for her own protection.  He soon did the same to the two small boys.

            Dawn and Xander ran downstairs to find the window opened.  A cold breeze blew the curtains and the branches on the lit pine.  Dawn rushed over and closed the window as she and Xander put themselves on full alert for the small demons.  They prowled slowly, searching for the creatures who were nowhere in sight.  Suddenly, Xander felt something claw onto his back and he screamed.  "Got it!" Dawn yelled as she approached him, but she too found an elf on her back.  Throwing them to the floor, the two raced for the weapons chest and pulled out the largest swords they could find.  They turned to find the living room floor covered in angry little demons.  

            Up on the rooftop reindeer paws blocked the two from Santa Claus.  Spike had taken down two of the hoofed demons, and Buffy three.  Now only three were left to block the creature with the evil smile in the Santa suit.  The antlered demons were far uglier than any reindeer could possibly be, and had the largest set of fangs Buffy had ever seen.  Spike gallantly jumped on the back of one as it began to buck wildly.  He grabbed a hold of its neck and a sickening snap could be heard as the creature fell down quickly.  Two to go.  Now it was Buffy's turn.  She back flipped off the chimney and behind on of the creatures, then charged at it, successfully knocking it off of the roof.  It lay still on the ground below.  Then together they ran full speed at the last and soon it too was sprawled dead on the grass.  

            Dawn and Xander fought fearlessly as they swung their blades side-to-side, mowing down the evil creatures before them.  They had managed to destroy at least half of the small army and were still making way.  Without warning, a brave elf latched on to Xander's hand and bit down hard, causing the man to drop his weapon.  It took hold of the sword and ran at him, flailing it in the air and growling at the top of its lungs.  However, it was quickly beheaded by Dawn.  "Well that was anti-climatic," Xander teased as the brunette reached his side again.

            "I thought it was a little pathetic myself," she agreed.  "Points for spunk though."  The last of the demons came running at the two, grouped close together.  

            "Up for a little elf bowling?' Xander asked as he grabbed Will's bike and sent it sailing at the crowd.  All of the little men were knocked down and soon the new slayer and new watcher had dispatched of them with their swords.

            Spike and Buffy stared down their enemy.  With wink of his eye and a twist of his head, he soon gave them to know they had so much to dread.  

            "So, you the Claus?" Spike asked defiantly.

            "In the flesh," the creature grinned, exposing pointy and crooked teeth.

            "Well, I for one am disappointed," Buffy sighed as she told her husband, "his eyes just don't twinkle.  His dimples aren't merry."  

            "And where's the belly that shakes like a bowl of jelly?" Spike mused.  "I'm completely disenchanted.  But I must say, I did laugh when I saw him, in spite of myself."

            "Sorry to let you all down," he smirked.  "Guess they embellished my features over the years."

            "I'd say," Spike agreed.  "So what is it you want fat man?"

            The demon's face grew into a grin, "I just wanted to meet the famous Summers.  I figured we'd get along quite well.    Heard you had a set of twins too.  Thought I might stop by for a snack."

            "Ah," Spike answered.  "Sorry mate, this isn't a buffet.  And you can't honestly expect us to join hands and start a love train when you want to eat our children."

            Santa sighed.  "Oh, well.  Thought it was worth a try," he shrugged.  "I do have a present for you though.  They're waiting downstairs for you."

            "Oh, you mean the vertically challenged groupies of yours?" Buffy questioned.  "We met.  Can't say I was impressed.  I'm sure they're all dead by now.  My sister seemed to dislike them a bit, and she always gets rid of things she can't stand.  It might be hard to get elf out of the carpet though.  Honey, you'll probably have to bring down the steam cleaner from the attic again in the morning."

            Santa didn't seem too amused.  A low growl could be heard in the night air.  

            "Uh, oh," Buffy teased.  "Seems I pissed off Chris Cringle.  Guess I won't make the list this year."

            "Well, he's already on mine," Spike glared at the demon before them.  "Since when did cookies and milk stop being enough?  Now you have to eat the little ones too?  You know, you really should cut back.  Try the Subway diet.  If it worked for Jared…"

            "Enough of your insolence!" Santa shouted.  "Is this all some joke to you?  Do you think I'm powerless?"

            "I'm sure you're extremely intimidating to those foot stools downstairs, but I must say that a white beard and a fuzzy red suit doesn't exactly strike fear in my heart," Buffy taunted.

            "Well then," Santa smirked as he began to grow twice his size, "maybe now it will."

TBC


	4. chapter 4

Dawn and Xander glanced over the carnage in the Summers' living room.  Decapitated elves were lying strewn across the floor amidst the broken lamps and picture frames.  Miraculously the Christmas tree and presents remained untouched.

            "Phew," Xander sighed.  "That was an awful lot of elves.  Wonder if any of them actually made shoes like the stories go?"

"You never know.  Could've made the Doc Martins I'm wearing now," Dawn joked as she began to weed her way through the corpses.  "Christmas just ain't Christmas without death and destruction.  Right, Xan?"  

"Seems to be, Dawnster.  At least it's over," he said as he picked up William's bike and checked it for elf goo.  "Guess we should go and see how Buffy and Spike are holding up."

"Race you to the top," she smiled at her long-time friend and new watcher.  

"You're on, Slayer," he smiled as they took off for the steps.  As they passed the front door they heard the familiar sound on growling coming from the street.  Looking out the small widow on the door, they could see another crowd of elves striding up the lawn.  

"Don't they ever stop?" Dawn questioned.

"Shouldn't they be singing "Hi Ho" or something?"

"Xander, that's dwarves, not elves," she stated.

"Ah," he acknowledged as he nodded his head.  "Back to the war front we go," he sang as he headed for his sword.  "Hey, Dawnie," he asked, "can I have the big one this time?"

Buffy and Spike stood in astonishment at the creature that towered before them.  Seems that Santa Claus had decided to reveal his true form, and it wasn't pretty.  The red-eyed demon that stood before them was oozing with slime.  It looked just as the elves below had, only twenty times their height.

"That sure isn't a jolly old elf," Spike whispered to his wife.

"Now what?" she asked as she faced him.  

"Same thing we always do, Love.  Let's kill it."

"Brilliant plan," she rolled her eyes.  "How?"

"What?  I have to be the brains as well as the beauty in this gig?" he said sarcastically.  

The creature growled menacingly.  "Weapons would definitely be of the good," Buffy squeaked.  

"Agreed," said the blonde as they both backed up. 

"You can't stop me," Santa, or the creature formally known as Santa, growled.  "Do you know how powerful I'll become once I've devoured the offspring of a slayer and a vampire?"

"Don't care to find out," Spike stated flatly.  

"Time to find out who's naughty or nice," it grinned, revealing a mouth full of razor sharp teeth.

"Pretty safe to say I've been naughty," Spike smiled triumphantly.  "In the good sort of way.  Right, Slayer?"

Suddenly jingling bells could be heard through the air.  The three turned to see Willow smiling brightly from behind the reigns of Santa's sleigh.  

"Sorry I'm late, guys.  Did you miss me?" she beamed.

"Willow!" Buffy yelled out in joy.  "Nice to see you could join us."

"Nothing better to do," she shrugged as she stared at the demon before her.  "So I'm guessing this would be Santa," she said, giving him the once over.  "Again, another reason I'm glad I'm Jewish."

The demon growled at the witch and readied itself for attack.  Buffy and Spike bent their knees slightly, in full alert position while Willow simply smiled at the creature.  

            "Noreshad, norecnad, norecnarp, nonexiv," the witch chanted.  "notemoc, nodipuc, norennod, noneztilb."  And with that the red sleigh hovered above the ground.  "Uh, Buffy and Spike…" she warned, "you should probably duck."  The two blonds dropped to the roof as the sleigh headed full speed toward them.  Willow almost had to laugh at the comic dear-in-headlights look that Santa made before the loud squishing sound filled the air.

            Dawn was cornered near the tree and Xander was standing on the couch, thrashing his sword wildly at the elves when they all suddenly burst into dust.  Even the sea of fallen bodies disappeared before their very eyes.  Bewildered but thankful, the two threw themselves down on the couch.  Willow, Spike, and Buffy came laughing down the stairs and joined them in the living room.

            "So, I take it we won," Xander sighed.

            "Santa got run over by a redhead," Spike sang to the tune of the famous Christmas song as Buffy and Willow exploded into a fit of laughter.  Dawn and Xander stared at each other, completely lost.  

            "Well, just so you know, we had everything under control," Dawn stated.  

            Buffy looked about her wrecked house.  "Sure looks like it," she teased.

            "We should get going.  Where's Anya and Giles?" Xander asked as he stood.  

            "It appears that Giles did a sleeping spell to keep the kids from seeing anything, only it worked a little too well.  They are all out in the twins room," Buffy laughed.

            "Better wake her up and get Nicky home before he wakes up.  I still have to finish assembling his Bob the Builder work bench."

            "I should go too.  It's my night to stay up with the baby," Willow smiled.  "I'll go get Giles and we'll head out."

            "Thanks, gang.  Spike and I really needed your help tonight, and as always, you came through," Buffy smiled. 

            "Hey, it's what we do."

            "Xander?"  Willow asked as he headed for the stairs to gather his family.  "It's officially Christmas morning.  You know what that means?"  

            "No way, Rosenberg.  I refuse to make a mockery of myself."

            "Since when?" Spike whispered to his wife as she quickly jabbed him in the chest with her elbow.

            "It's a tradition.  Every year since we were six.  Do it." Willow smiled.

            "Willow…" he began to protest.

            "Do it!" she commanded.  Rolling his eyes in defeat, Xander cleared his throat.

"Music please," he requested as Willow began a series of  "da dada, da dada, da da."s.  He threw his head back and began kicking his lags insanely.

            "Oh, my gosh.  Is that the…" Buffy exclaimed.  

            "It's the Snoopy dance!" Dawn giggled as she watched the man jump completely around and continue kicking, without missing a beat.  The entire room was crying in no time from the laughter.  Xander quickly took his bow and headed up the staircase.

            After everyone had gone home and Dawn was asleep in bed, Spike and Buffy cuddled on the couch and stared at the Christmas lights.  Music quietly played in the background as they held each other close.  Buffy yawned.

            "Tired, Love?" Spike asked as he kissed the top of her head.

            "Mmm, hmm," she sighed as she placed her head on his chest.  "Haven't gotten much sleep since you decided to hang mistletoe all over the ceiling above the bed," she grinned.

            "Didn't hear any complaints from you," he smirked.  The room was silent for a few moments more before Buffy began to stand up.  

            "We better get to bed.  The kids will be up in about two hours and I have a lot of cooking to do," she yawned.

            Spike joined her side and the two held hands before the twinkling lights.  Staring deeply into each others eyes, Spike spoke softly.  "Did you ever think things would turn out this way?  That we'd be so fortunate and so happy?  Besides the slaying and the no sunlight of course."

            "No.  Never in my best dreams did I think I'd end up with two beautiful children, wonderful friends and family, and the sexiest man in the world as my husband," she smiled.  

            "I love you," he whispered.

            "I love you too."

            "Merry Christmas my love."

            "Merry Christmas," Buffy whispered as the two kissed before the tree to the music.

"Oh! You better watch out,   
you better not cry,   
you better not pout,  
I'm telling you why:  
Santa Claus is coming to town!" carried through the air from the radio.  

The two had the same look of disgust on their faces as they raced across the room to be the first one to turn it off.  Jumping over the couch and flipping the switch, Spike smiled victoriously at Buffy and then winked.  

"So, uh… care for a round under the mistletoe?"

THE END!  
  
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!


End file.
